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apologies, m8s
1 min read
chaotic good | INTJ-P | insomniac | major-depressive | dysphoric
Who the fuck gave me all these responsibilities?
name| Ares or Morganbirthday| April 05 | Aries
gender| transmasc nonbinary
pronouns| they / them or he / him
sexuality| idk, man. none
✔ ; mark, unsolved, hades, spla2n, 🐈⬛ //
// self-loathing, worrying, crying myself to sleep ; ✘
I've got problems & far too many of them have yet to be officially diagnosed. I'm kind of obsessive ?? over things / people ( it's a Hyperfixation ), & I tend to get bored easily. The world is scary & being an adult isn't worth the stress, but ❝ the real treasure is the friends we make along the way. ❞ What friends? I'm as impulsive as half my updates show I am. I crave attention, yet fear it at the same time. I cry a lot -- though, honestly it just feels good sometimes. Stupid cringe ass kinnie basard.
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online
1 min read
can't fucking get into my s.tash to edit the last one of these so. whatever, i'll just make a new one.
links, etc. more of a reminder for me, but you're welcome to follow.
Nintendo Switch! [ SW-3936-1189-5687 ] ( mainly Splatoon 2 )
PS4! [ close muts only ]
Xbox! [ close muts only ]
frequently: Tumblr , GaiaOnline , FlightRising
occasionally: Discord [ close muts only ]
for friends sake: Twitter , Twitch , Wattpad ( idk why i still have this )
inactive: Furvilla , Wysp, Toyhou.se
links, etc. more of a reminder for me, but you're welcome to follow.
Nintendo Switch! [ SW-3936-1189-5687 ] ( mainly Splatoon 2 )
PS4! [ close muts only ]
Xbox! [ close muts only ]
frequently: Tumblr , GaiaOnline , FlightRising
occasionally: Discord [ close muts only ]
for friends sake: Twitter , Twitch , Wattpad ( idk why i still have this )
inactive: Furvilla , Wysp, Toyhou.se
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oof
2 min read
stored a bunch of art, deleted a bunch of journals / status updates, cleared a bunch of dead links, nuked my notifications ( save for the past couple days. ), updated my to-do list with the last two things i need to finish. after that ?? who knows. i may or may not use this account as an archive or whatever so i won't have to delete everything or move it all to a new account. i've always been indecisive & impulsive.
thank you for following me throughout the years, for tolerating me & my selfish decisions, through good & bad times; thank you for giving me advice, be it on art or life in general. thank you for giving me the time of day. one day i'll get my head out of the sand & treat people the way they ought to be treated, with the respect & love they deserve, and i won't be afraid to say no. i'm grateful to have stayed on the relatively soft side of dA with little to no drama, & hopefully continue to stay on that side.
i wanted to make people happy, but i went about it the wrong way & ended up getting carried away right into the deep end. i'll keep my queue lighter. i won't be afraid to draw for myself more often, & hopefully be able to realise that i can't do everything at once, that art takes time. art takes patience. art takes practice.
thank you for following me throughout the years, for tolerating me & my selfish decisions, through good & bad times; thank you for giving me advice, be it on art or life in general. thank you for giving me the time of day. one day i'll get my head out of the sand & treat people the way they ought to be treated, with the respect & love they deserve, and i won't be afraid to say no. i'm grateful to have stayed on the relatively soft side of dA with little to no drama, & hopefully continue to stay on that side.
i wanted to make people happy, but i went about it the wrong way & ended up getting carried away right into the deep end. i'll keep my queue lighter. i won't be afraid to draw for myself more often, & hopefully be able to realise that i can't do everything at once, that art takes time. art takes patience. art takes practice.
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explanations
3 min read
to the newer (& maybe other) watchers who don't know who jacky & vice are .. let me explain, lmao.
here's: this ( & this; the murder death squad is just a bunch of memes
involving jacky & oc's belonging to a couple friends of mine. )
- - -
i might be a hypocrite when i say they're the most important characters for me because i sorta cast them aside on my other account, but i created them when i was going through a rough time. i still am, but for different reasons. of course, i was influenced by jack .. which is why i think they got noticed?/popular? (uh) for the wrong reasons.
at first, jacky was psycho!jack -- before anti was really even a thing ?? then i found him a host: vice, who was in no way supposed to be a ?jse? character. in a way, vice was me (without being a sona) & jacky was that piece of shit in the back of my mind telling me how worthless i was. i gave it a face so i wouldn't take it seriously. my depression, anxiety, and insomnia all rolled into one: jacky. they were vent characters, lmao. (vice was literally stuck in his own mind while jacky went & killed people for the fun of it. he'd spend hours crying because he couldn't do anything to stop him, coming to the conclusion that the only way to end it was to .. end it. but there was always a chance that choice wouldn't change anything, & jacky would still do bad shit, taunting vice in the meantime.)
but with them being influenced by jack so early on, it just stuck. everyone already saw them as just youtube oc's. & i hated it after a while. i tried working on vice's backstory, which didn't get very far. tried giving him a personality other than the useless vessel that jacky had turned him into. i ended up making an entirely different account so people would stop saving them in youtube folders .. which sounds childish when i think about it, but ?? they were really important to me. i didn't want them associated with other youtuber oc's .. i didn't want them to be known for that. i wanted them to be their own thing, so i moved them. i tossed them aside because ?? i didn't know how else to stop it.
at this point, i really want to bring them back but vice & i have changed so much since then, i don't know what to do with him. i'm not in that state of mind anymore. but jacky's back for now. til someone puts him in a youtube folder, then i'll probably end up throwing him on my other account again, lmao. please, don't.
- - -
tl;dr .. jacky was influenced by jack but he's not an anti. not an ego. he's a piece of shit.
i didn't mean to rant. but i almost .. didn't want to bring them back.
here's: this ( & this; the murder death squad is just a bunch of memes
involving jacky & oc's belonging to a couple friends of mine. )
- - -
i might be a hypocrite when i say they're the most important characters for me because i sorta cast them aside on my other account, but i created them when i was going through a rough time. i still am, but for different reasons. of course, i was influenced by jack .. which is why i think they got noticed?/popular? (uh) for the wrong reasons.
at first, jacky was psycho!jack -- before anti was really even a thing ?? then i found him a host: vice, who was in no way supposed to be a ?jse? character. in a way, vice was me (without being a sona) & jacky was that piece of shit in the back of my mind telling me how worthless i was. i gave it a face so i wouldn't take it seriously. my depression, anxiety, and insomnia all rolled into one: jacky. they were vent characters, lmao. (vice was literally stuck in his own mind while jacky went & killed people for the fun of it. he'd spend hours crying because he couldn't do anything to stop him, coming to the conclusion that the only way to end it was to .. end it. but there was always a chance that choice wouldn't change anything, & jacky would still do bad shit, taunting vice in the meantime.)
but with them being influenced by jack so early on, it just stuck. everyone already saw them as just youtube oc's. & i hated it after a while. i tried working on vice's backstory, which didn't get very far. tried giving him a personality other than the useless vessel that jacky had turned him into. i ended up making an entirely different account so people would stop saving them in youtube folders .. which sounds childish when i think about it, but ?? they were really important to me. i didn't want them associated with other youtuber oc's .. i didn't want them to be known for that. i wanted them to be their own thing, so i moved them. i tossed them aside because ?? i didn't know how else to stop it.
at this point, i really want to bring them back but vice & i have changed so much since then, i don't know what to do with him. i'm not in that state of mind anymore. but jacky's back for now. til someone puts him in a youtube folder, then i'll probably end up throwing him on my other account again, lmao. please, don't.
- - -
tl;dr .. jacky was influenced by jack but he's not an anti. not an ego. he's a piece of shit.
i didn't mean to rant. but i almost .. didn't want to bring them back.
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8 facts ft. Vice / Jacky
2 min read
random facts, lmao
1. Y'all know number one is me screaming that they're not Antiseptic, lmao
2. They're more or less my alt. sonas, being a representation of my instability.
3. They're featured on my alt. account bc everyone kept +faving them in Youtube folders. >:c
4. Sorry if y'all think they look like Jack, I'm not revamping them.
5. I draw them together a lot but technically they don't exist at the same time ??
6. Jacky is literally possessing Vice so Vice is often portrayed in monochrome to signify the difference ??
7. Vice can't win. Even if he managed to subdue Jacky, he'll still be there in Vice's mind.
8. they've gone 9 consecutive days without sleeping once.
Vice
1. is the physical representation of my depression and anxiety.
2. fav color is lavender.
3. has been "missing" since 2014.
4. his eyes are actually green.
5. HE HAS TWO CATS.
6. would probably eat pizza for the rest of his life if he could.
7. has regained control on several occasions, often at the worst possible time.
8. has attempted suicide 3 times.
Jacky
1. is the little voice that tells me I'm worthless.
2. fav color is blue.
3. Despite his volatile demeanor, no one's really noticed a change in "Vice's" behavior.
4. eyes are blue, consuming Vice's green.
5. has joined multiple gangs and clubs, but ultimately ends up killing everyone because he doesn't get along with anyone.
6. is he a demon ?? who knows ?? alt. alien demon thing, I have no idea
7. Murder Death Squad
8. am subtly working on a ref for his actual form :0
I did too many facts, lmao
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